Fight! Claritin Robo!!!
Fishing through the murky depths of pop culture never gets old for me, especially when an anachronism like Claritin Robo turns up in the net. It was given to me by my friend Matt, a graphic designer who worked at a company that developed promotional items and found it in a bin at his office. Unfortunately he didn’t have answers to any of the obvious questions like “Why the hell would someone do something like this?”
I recognized the toy’s design. It came from a set of toys by Masayuda called Alphabots, transforming alphabet letters aimed at preschoolers (a set of Numberbots is also available). I’d also heard stories about how they were given away as toy pack-ins at Dairy Queen and Burger King in the 1980s. How did this one end up with the Claritin logo on it, though? A few phone calls got me in touch with the Marketing department at Schering-Plough, and the story, once told, was almost too much to swallow…
I’m always entertained by the lengths some companies will go to in order to grow brand awareness among children ( beyond giving your product an “extreme” name like Blastin’ Green Ketchup, Xplosive Pizza Goldfish, etc.). Keith opened my eyes to the mind-boggling Tooth Protectors, an Atari 2600 cartridge given to kids by Johnson & Johnson. More recently, I read about Mosquito 2, a Playstation title that will be sold at drugstores to promote Ikeda Mohando’s Muhi anti-itch cream.
I shouldn’t have been surprised, then, when I found out that Claritin Robo was intended as a tie-in for a cartoon feature to be distributed through pediatricians’ offices. I kid you not.
It was 1999, and Schering-Plough was facing a tough crunch. The patent for Claritin was going to expire in three short years, and now more than ever it was critical for them to gain ground against newcomers Zyrtec and Allegra. Claritin Syrup for Children was going to be launched soon, and Claritin Robo was seen as their last, best hope for breaking into this market segment.
The faxed material that I received describes a 15-minute VHS tape (remember, DVD wasn’t a widespread format yet) that would be packaged with the Claritin Robo toy and a sample of Claritin Syrup. A description of the plot isn’t included, but I can only imagine that it involves some “rad kid” who has allergy problems and encounters Claritin Robo, who helps him overcome his respiratory distress and win a skateboard contest, or something.
One of the pages even had the lyrics to the theme song. Here are the ones I can make out:
Flowers, plants, and leaves,
making it hard to breathe…
Claritin Robo, he works fast,
to help us breathe, at last!
Claritin Robo!
Claritin Robo!
Claritin… Rooooooboooooo!!!
After reading this, I was convinced: there was no doubt that the whole concept of this was uncompromisingly lame, but I had to get my hands on the remaining pieces of the puzzle. In addition to the video, a promotional poster and cardboard display is shown in the materials I was sent. I’ve been scanning eBay, but so far, no dice. If anyone has any leads, I’d really appreciate it. My appetite has been whetted, and there’s nothing that’s going to stop me…
Fight! Claritin Robo! For the abolition of pollen and the integrity of our capillaries!!!
