Do ninja turtles really suck?

Posted by Gcrush 
I was never particularly into Ninja Turtles when I was a kid, but I started watching the latest reboot with my son last year. It's surprisingly competent and layered for a series of twenty minute commercials. I'd go so far as to say that it's top notch for an animated series that doesn't feature r-rated violence - easily Batman the Animated Series level quality.

It also has some of the best mass-market toys available right now. I picked up a set of 4" tall battle-shell ninja turtles and they're amazing. This overly enthusiastic dood has a too-long review if you care to watch.

What makes them so amazing? They perfectly capture the aesthetic of the cartoon. They have excellent articulation. They are durable. They have gobs of weapons. They can store the weapons in their shells. They cost less than $10. They are readily available in most brick and mortar stores. And there is also a three-foot tall playset and a bunch of vehicles you could buy for them.

While pretty much every toy line in the world is either going for the high-end nostalgia collector or screen-addicted youth, Playmates is rocking the formula of "cartoon + toys = business". Are toy nerds even taking notice? I have no idea. But I do know that people are gobbling up overpriced retro-styled collector-oriented goods while bemoaning the dearth of mass-market retro-styled awesomeness on store shelves. All in all, this is probably as close as possible to giving today's kids an honest-to-goodness page right out of the 1980s Golden Era of mass-market toyness.

If you have kids, or like ninja turtles, you really need to check the cartoon and toys out. They most certainly do not suck.
Sanjeev (Admin)
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Gcrush
...I do know that people are gobbling up overpriced retro-styled collector-oriented goods while bemoaning the dearth of mass-market retro-styled awesomeness on store shelves. All in all, this is probably as close as possible to giving today's kids an honest-to-goodness page right out of the 1980s Golden Era of mass-market toyness.

^^True.

I have a few coworkers in their early-to-mid-twenties, and they grew up on TMNT like most of us likely grew up on Voltron, Shogun Warriors, and Godaikins. I wouldn't call them true "toy collectors", but they seem to love these new toys in general (if not specifically this latest 4" "battle shell" wave).

I grew up enjoying the original TMNT cartoon, but I wasn't *that* into the comics or toys, so while I really appreciate these figures, I wouldn't actually go out and buy them.

And not to derail, but here's another example of a modern toy line in the same vein: the new Garbage Pail Kids "Minikins". These are just about the most PERFECT toy line...for this particular food group, anyway. Cheap, readily-available in most brick-n-mortars, fantastic quality, and appealing equally to both kids/new fans and old-timey fans from the 80's. Of course, this particular food group (little rubber guys) may not be for you--or you may have no interest in GPK--but these are basically like Soul of Chogokin for LRG fans! So just like with these new Turtle toys, I'm glad these exist...
I can tell you TMNT toy collectors are way into the new series.

-Ginrai
Golden Gate Riot on dead trees at: [www.destroyallcomics.com]
The turtles in the main line are fantastic, and the large classics ones are even better (but really hard to find at retail). However Playmates took the articulation out of most of the secondary characters. I have no idea why they didn't just use Rocksteady and Bebop, though... heck, even the movie avoided those characters, is there some weird copyright on them?

That shellraiser van/train thingee is pretty awesome as well... just a solid brick of a toy that doubles as storage. Or maybe I'm just impressed because the Lego version of it is a surprisingly fragile piece of junk.
The little Dude and I both love the new show. Have a healthy bunch of Playmates plastic toy love to be enjoyed. Figure sculpts are fantastic (although a bit out of scale show-wise), and it doesn't take much effort to locate even the "rarest" of characters. My only gripe is when you get to Rat King and helmut-off Shredder, you're pretty much peddling burn victim toys, which we don't have in the collection. Just got the Cockroach and Spyder Bytz dudes, so we're good for the year.
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Sanjeev

And not to derail, but here's another example of a modern toy line in the same vein: the new Garbage Pail Kids "Minikins". These are just about the most PERFECT toy line...for this particular food group, anyway. Cheap, readily-available in most brick-n-mortars, fantastic quality, and appealing equally to both kids/new fans and old-timey fans from the 80's. Of course, this particular food group (little rubber guys) may not be for you--or you may have no interest in GPK--but these are basically like Soul of Chogokin for LRG fans! So just like with these new Turtle toys, I'm glad these exist...

Sorry... thread DERAILED.

These have been COMPLETELY off my radar! So most of them are mono-colored but a few are fully painted and "short packed" - is that how it goes? And what stores have you seen them in?

Last X-mas two of my favorite presents were the complete series GPK and Mars Attacks collected in nifty little hard cover books (published from Abrams Comicarts) complete with waxy wrap book covers and a bonus pack insert (no cardboard bubble gum though!).
Sanjeev (Admin)
They're SO fucking good, right???

Yeah, so I guess the painted ones are a little harder to find than the unpainted ones...except for unpainted black. The black ones are considered "chase" and are a ton more rare. I don't really care about that stuff...I just think these toys are badass and as long as I have one of each sculpt, I'm good!

That said, I'd recommend focusing on the unpainted ones. At first, the idea of fully painted, accurately-colored minifigs sounded dope...but in practice, they're pretty meh. I dunno...the pasty paint quality, lack of detail, and the always-slightly-off masking just make them feel mediocre. It's not like the paint is *bad*: it's just average at best. And when you have sculpts that are so microscopically RAZOR-sharp, anything less than absolutely pristine paint will seem a little off-putting.

Anyway, I've seen these guys in Target, but from what I gather from other collectors online, they're more or less everywhere. Also, I hear a Wave 2 is coming in March or so!

Oh, I got that GPK book! It's pretty great. Been meaning to get the Mars Attacks one, too. And of course, I'm waiting for them to put out a Dinosaurs Attacks one as well!
What does GPK stand for?

-Ginrai
Golden Gate Riot on dead trees at: [www.destroyallcomics.com]
Sanjeev (Admin)
Garbage Pail Kids, silly goose!

Or is that your hint for us to quit derailing this Turtles thread?? ;)
OH. Getting back on topic, my friend picked me up a couple of TMNT things I've been wanting forever from the original '80s toy line: The Technodrome and the Channel 6 News Van. Pretty excited to get those!

-Ginrai
Golden Gate Riot on dead trees at: [www.destroyallcomics.com]



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2014 09:00PM by Ginrai.
Sanjeev (Admin)
Oh man...Technodrome's hot. I assume you got the full size one, not the mini?
Full-sized one, for sure. Which, by the way, connects to the Ninja Turtles' sewer. There's a dock on the Technodrome for the green sewer pipe!

-Ginrai
Golden Gate Riot on dead trees at: [www.destroyallcomics.com]
Sanjeev (Admin)
Oh, that sounds dope--I didn't know it connected to the sewer playset! Can you pour slime down the pipe, or is it more just for the figures to get from one setting to the other?
I mean the sewer has a couple of places to dump ooze down, but the connector on the front of the Technodrome is horizontal and so a horizontal pipe to to the sewer is all you're getting. Don't worry, though, the Technodrome has a built in ooze torture chamber!

Technodrome Features

Great video of a dude playing with Technodrome and good camera angles (just mute the video)

-Ginrai
Golden Gate Riot on dead trees at: [www.destroyallcomics.com]



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/09/2013 10:42PM by Ginrai.
Sanjeev (Admin)
I didn't mute the review video...and I thought it was delightful! I mean, my man refers to Krang as the "cerebral psycho"! He's got alliteration on LOCK! LOL
Just bought a few of the basic figs from the new Turtles line (Leo, Raphael, Foot Soldier) for my younger nephew. If he hates them, I'm putting it all on you guys.

Have to say, though, they do look nice. About as close to the Neca comic-inspired figs as you'll get with a mainline series.
The main Turtle figures are quiet nice. The sidekicks/enemies, though are pretty variable in quality.

-Ginrai
Golden Gate Riot on dead trees at: [www.destroyallcomics.com]
Some of the cooler second tier figs, Baxter Stockman (robot suit), Dog Pound (he's big), Fish Face, and the Cockroach Terminator. The Shellraiser is pretty sweet as well, fits all the turtles at once, very durable.
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Supersentai
Some of the cooler second tier figs, Baxter Stockman (robot suit), Dog Pound (he's big), Fish Face, and the Cockroach Terminator. The Shellraiser is pretty sweet as well, fits all the turtles at once, very durable.

I had some of these figures, and they were pretty nice overall. I do wish that they could have seen their way to painting things on both sides of the toy, though.

More serious than thou
Sanjeev (Admin)
Seriously?

What the fuck?






Sanjeev (Admin)
MOAR SUCK



From the new trailer. So...they turned Shredder from a cool Japanese guy who's a master of martial arts...into a white guy in power armor. Way to go Hollywood. The one thing we need more of is white guys in power armor.



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Look who is directing: the hack behind the sequel to the remake of Clash of the Titans and the prequel to the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And it's produced by Michael fucking Bay and starring Megan Fox. Why does anyone have any hope for this movie? It's going to be a pile of garbage.

-Ginrai
Golden Gate Riot on dead trees at: [www.destroyallcomics.com]
The pinnacle of TMNT storytelling is the current Nicktoons CGI version. That shit is amazing - far better than the "Daredevil Parody" source material ever was. But as for live action Ninja Turtles? At what point did we even expect there to be a remote possibility of quality?

Is there really any possible way it couldn't suck?



Have any of the previous films not sucked?



Is there any way to realism without making the turtles monstrously absurd, malformed travesties?




TMNT should not be a serious film. All four words in the property's title, individually, would already indicate a terrible, terrible film. But with their powers combined they form the legendary Golden Turd - a work so astonishingly absurd that it transcends ordinary mortal notions of quality and becomes UBERCINEMA. I have nothing but love for the prospect of a big, dumb, insane Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle film where all the turtles look like the Hulk ate a homeless woman and shit then shit her corpse into four industrial sized Soviet bathtubs. They look exactly the way they should.

Besides, the prospect was always going to be an inferior rehashing of a story that was shit to begin with, or nothing at all. I don't know about you guys, but if we were all adamantly against shit-story-rehashes Hollywood wouldn't exist and then we'd never even get the 1% of accidental goodness it does occasionally squirt out. If you don't believe be, just look at what passes for cinema is most other countries. It's fucking dismal as fuck. Endless rehashes of low-brow drama, love triangles, and slapstick "action". Ugh.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2014 10:48PM by Gcrush.
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Sanjeev (Admin)
Yeah, but you're not acknowledging that "suck" can mean a lot of things! Sure, the original Turtles sucked...but in wholly and completely different ways from the way this new movie looks! So you can understand how the jilted fanboy can get heated.

And why not? There *is* hope for an alternative. Every now and then, we get a gem from Hollywood like the live-action Speed Racer movie--a movie that sucks in ALL the right ways! ;) Or more towards the middle of the spectrum: the new Godzilla movie sucked in a lot of ways that worked well enough for fanboys...while NOT alienating every other human in the vicinity. In my opinion, THAT is the balance to shoot for (and again, that's why I like the Marvel Studios movies).
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