Do superhero toys really suck?
Posted by Gcrush
Curse this thread for piquing my curiosity about costumed hero toys. The fact that Target currently has these figures for $5 each didn't help. Passed on the Hulkbuster, as it looks like the unwanted lovechild of a Scopedog and a Rocklord.
A brief, much-truncated timeline of gingaio's relationship with American superheroes:
1982--arrives in the US from Hong Kong
1982--(many months later)--reads Iron Man #170
1982--(minutes later)--obsessed with the Iron Man design.
Which explains why this will always be my default Iron Man:
I also always really loved the Guardsman design, especially the goofy idea that these were basically high-powered/armored prison guards, though it's only in hindsight (and with the help of Articulated Discussion's photo), that I realize how much they resemble a male dance revue:
Pic below from [www.articulateddiscussion.com]:
Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 12/06/2010 05:29AM by gingaio.
A brief, much-truncated timeline of gingaio's relationship with American superheroes:
1982--arrives in the US from Hong Kong
1982--(many months later)--reads Iron Man #170
1982--(minutes later)--obsessed with the Iron Man design.
Which explains why this will always be my default Iron Man:
I also always really loved the Guardsman design, especially the goofy idea that these were basically high-powered/armored prison guards, though it's only in hindsight (and with the help of Articulated Discussion's photo), that I realize how much they resemble a male dance revue:
Pic below from [www.articulateddiscussion.com]:
Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 12/06/2010 05:29AM by gingaio.
gingaio Wrote:
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> Curse this thread for piquing my curiosity about
> costumed hero toys.
If you like your boys a bit bigger I believe they made a six inch Eyerun Mahn figure, too.
The skin-tightedness and impracticability of superhero costumes is a running joke about the genre, but the Guardsman takes the cake. It's flagrantly sexualized disregard for both logic and fashion is utterly unsettling in a way that only John Waters could describe as "subtle". I tip my hat to you, sir. You're a saint in The Crusade to support awkward toys.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/07/2010 10:58AM by Gcrush.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Curse this thread for piquing my curiosity about
> costumed hero toys.
If you like your boys a bit bigger I believe they made a six inch Eyerun Mahn figure, too.
The skin-tightedness and impracticability of superhero costumes is a running joke about the genre, but the Guardsman takes the cake. It's flagrantly sexualized disregard for both logic and fashion is utterly unsettling in a way that only John Waters could describe as "subtle". I tip my hat to you, sir. You're a saint in The Crusade to support awkward toys.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/07/2010 10:58AM by Gcrush.
I tell you, the only superhero toys I've seen, recently, that fill me with lust are those retro/Mego dolls. Oh, how I'd love to get the full run of those - Star Trek, too.
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hassenpfeffer
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/08/2010 10:50AM by cae.
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hassenpfeffer
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/08/2010 10:50AM by cae.
I haven't bought what you'd call an "action figure" in many many many years. But damn if these little bits of hand crack aren't awesome. It was the Thor that did it. I only wanted a Thor. But then I saw the "classic" Iron Man and had to have that too. This is not your father's Iron man, its Mason's Iron Man. It's the suit I think of whenever I think of ol' Shellhead. But damn, the rest of them were so well executed I needed to buy more.
-Mason
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Matthewalt "I actually kinda LIKE that approach! You know: let's make a TOY. Remember those? Products designed to be played with without breaking? DO YOU REMEMBER, LOVE?!"
-Mason
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Matthewalt "I actually kinda LIKE that approach! You know: let's make a TOY. Remember those? Products designed to be played with without breaking? DO YOU REMEMBER, LOVE?!"
Whatever bug bit you bit me hard, too.
For an old-school comic fan, these Marvel Universe figs are really hard to resist (unlike the Marvel Legends, which are just goofy looking on the whole and over-articulated floppy messes):
Spent the last couple of weeks scouring local hobby shops/shows for these, and I've still got another half-dozen or so figs to open. They're the epitome of toy crack--cheap and cheaply made, but designed just well enough to activate and inflame whatever soupcon of desire lives in that fanboy heart of yours.
As the Secret Wars figs were a second-rate toy line, so Hasbro seems intent on living down to that lineage. And it's not like Hasbro can't do better because it's doing better, like, right now. These MU figs, with their elasticky, rubbery joints and their simplified molds and their drunken paint slops are brazenly crappy. They make my 25th GI Joes look like Rodin sculptures. Paradoxically, that kind of stupid simplicity is also what lures.
For example, compare Hasbro's MU Shellhead to Hasbro's Iron Man 2 Shellhead. The differences in sculpt, material, and design are astounding, with the Iron Man 2 Shellhead (on the left) leagues ahead in terms of just being a better toy. And believe me, you'll know right away when you hold these two in your hands. And yet, the MU Shellhead feels just as fun, but in a really simplified, vintage kind of way. It's craptastic, I guess.
It's really interesting, the difference in quality between this supposed collector's line and lines with a wider demographic, like the Iron Man 2 and X-Men Origins brands, which offer much sturdier joints and materials and more complex engineering, and which produced an absolutely spectacular Jim Lee Sabretooth (compare to the goofy MU Juggernaut in the back):
Iron Man 2 Comic War Machine has to be one of the best 1/18 figures ever made:
Edited 7 time(s). Last edit at 12/23/2010 06:32AM by gingaio.
For an old-school comic fan, these Marvel Universe figs are really hard to resist (unlike the Marvel Legends, which are just goofy looking on the whole and over-articulated floppy messes):
Spent the last couple of weeks scouring local hobby shops/shows for these, and I've still got another half-dozen or so figs to open. They're the epitome of toy crack--cheap and cheaply made, but designed just well enough to activate and inflame whatever soupcon of desire lives in that fanboy heart of yours.
As the Secret Wars figs were a second-rate toy line, so Hasbro seems intent on living down to that lineage. And it's not like Hasbro can't do better because it's doing better, like, right now. These MU figs, with their elasticky, rubbery joints and their simplified molds and their drunken paint slops are brazenly crappy. They make my 25th GI Joes look like Rodin sculptures. Paradoxically, that kind of stupid simplicity is also what lures.
For example, compare Hasbro's MU Shellhead to Hasbro's Iron Man 2 Shellhead. The differences in sculpt, material, and design are astounding, with the Iron Man 2 Shellhead (on the left) leagues ahead in terms of just being a better toy. And believe me, you'll know right away when you hold these two in your hands. And yet, the MU Shellhead feels just as fun, but in a really simplified, vintage kind of way. It's craptastic, I guess.
It's really interesting, the difference in quality between this supposed collector's line and lines with a wider demographic, like the Iron Man 2 and X-Men Origins brands, which offer much sturdier joints and materials and more complex engineering, and which produced an absolutely spectacular Jim Lee Sabretooth (compare to the goofy MU Juggernaut in the back):
Iron Man 2 Comic War Machine has to be one of the best 1/18 figures ever made:
Edited 7 time(s). Last edit at 12/23/2010 06:32AM by gingaio.
Gingy, compare the recent Little Marvels with the GI Jonsers and the lack of quality is even more depressing. I found this Snake Eyes the other night and it made me weep. It is near perfect action figurey confection. Its guns have removable silencers. Glory.
It makes me hate superhero toys even more. Except for the DC Super Powers revival types like Tyr (previously fawned over in this here very thread). Those doods are too goofy not to love.
The Little Legends guys are okay in a Secret Wars kind of way, but they don't ante up the quality enough to make it fulfilling. Shame.
It makes me hate superhero toys even more. Except for the DC Super Powers revival types like Tyr (previously fawned over in this here very thread). Those doods are too goofy not to love.
The Little Legends guys are okay in a Secret Wars kind of way, but they don't ante up the quality enough to make it fulfilling. Shame.
The Sentinel does not suck (though the upcoming MU version looks sucky in comparison). Big props to the Technician of Repairs Jon for the score and for being one of the coolest people I've ever dealt with. Not only did he PM me out of the blue because I'd mentioned wanting one of these in a random post, but he actually talked me down in terms of the price, giving me a generous discount on a complete set of the new/sealed Sentinel Series figs so I could build this thing myself. Then, because the package was delayed by what I imagine to be acts of God, and after it seemed possible that it may have been lost, he offered to refund me the payment, no questions asked. I apologize for gushing, but I can't recall the last time I offered a price on something to someone and he/she actually said, "Hey, how about we go even lower?"
Anyway, the scale of the fig works really well with the MU toy crack:
And not to beat a dead horse, but man are these things craptastic...and oddly fun (Iron Man 2 Extremis figure on left, MU Extremis on right...Hasbro did a version 2 of the Extremis figure for the MU line, and it looks a lot better than the Starvin' Marvin version featured below, but still doesn't have the panache of the Iron Man 2 version--it's almost as if Hasbro is intentionally trying to suck when it comes to this line):
Okay, back to hibernation mode.
Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 01/05/2011 04:56AM by gingaio.
For Gingy.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/05/2011 11:28AM by Gcrush.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/05/2011 11:28AM by Gcrush.
While rifling through a dumpster at Wal-Mart for second breakfast, I finally found JEMM.
It's such a beautiful, sucky toy. The long goony legs. Star shaped cape clasp. Arsinio Hall fingers. And what look like gills in palms of its hands. It is so deliciously, obnoxiously, disposably hideous in both form and color palette that it is the action figure equivalent of a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie. Cheap, guilty, unhealthy pleasure.
Except that "cheap" in this case means quality only, not price. Fucking thing cost fifteen bones. I'm pretty sore about that. When did shitty, throw-away action figures of b-list caped goons get to be $15? It's a goddamn crime. This is a $10 toy, tops. I have no idea how Mattel stays in business pushing these things.
And yet I can't help but be intrigued by the cast of Diversity Friends:
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/14/2011 11:41AM by Gcrush.
It's such a beautiful, sucky toy. The long goony legs. Star shaped cape clasp. Arsinio Hall fingers. And what look like gills in palms of its hands. It is so deliciously, obnoxiously, disposably hideous in both form and color palette that it is the action figure equivalent of a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie. Cheap, guilty, unhealthy pleasure.
Except that "cheap" in this case means quality only, not price. Fucking thing cost fifteen bones. I'm pretty sore about that. When did shitty, throw-away action figures of b-list caped goons get to be $15? It's a goddamn crime. This is a $10 toy, tops. I have no idea how Mattel stays in business pushing these things.
And yet I can't help but be intrigued by the cast of Diversity Friends:
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/14/2011 11:41AM by Gcrush.
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