Do superhero toys really suck?

Posted by Gcrush 
I purchased a "Frost Giant" action figure from the Thor line. It's a neat toy, at least as good as the basic Thor figures. But, disturbingly, the figure has been sculpted both nude and genital-less under its apron. It has skin folds and whatnot down there, but no dong and no underwear. It's creepy.

They should have called it the "Freud Giant" instead.
Or "Frost-Bitten Giant".

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[pgaijin.blogspot.com]
[www.imageanime.com]

Hey now! Since Bruce Lee was a for-real guy, and not just one of the super-iest superheros, does this count?

HotToys hitting again with: 1970s style Bruce, with brown poly-blend gittin'buisness-done suit, high heeled detailed butt kicker boots, and "realistic facial expression with smiling face" . Hee-YAH!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/05/2011 10:53PM by repairtechjon.
Sanjeev (Admin)
[I agree with hillsy about keeping the brog Japanese-toy-only...I was just busting Erik's balls with the suitcase thing!]

This is me trying to one-up Erik. :P

Nah...fuck that! You're stupid for not owning this. And let me tell you why. These aren't action figures, you ignorant slut. "Action figures" are toys that have two basic functions: they have to look accurate to the source movie, comic, cartoon, whatever, and they have to be well-articulated. Well, what separates a robot toy (in my warped fantasy world) from an action figure is that it's primary gimmick is neither of those. Some *other* feature takes center stage and is what gives the toy its play value.

That's what Mega Bloks "Metalon" figures are. They're magnemo toys. The neck, shoulders, and waist are magnetic. Holy shit, read that sentence again if you know what's good for ya. Yeah, yeah...there are some magnetic features on Hot Toys' Movie Masterpiece figures (though I'm still iffy on relegating them to the "action figure" category), but those features just use magnets to get the job done. Just as with classic Japanese magnemo robot toys, magnetism IS the main feature of Metalons. And they kick much ass for it.



So a little over a year ago, I rocked the Metalon War Machine...and it rocked me. Simple. A little goofy. Funner'n hell. Well, it wasn't until last Sunday when my homeboy, Doc, and I were making jackasses of ourselves at our local TRU with Nerf swords and axes...when I finally spotted the Tri-Armor Suitcase...and remember I wanted one.

It's glorious.




The red plastic is tough and has a slick, waxy sheen to it...but it's got real subtle glitter embedded in it. Hey, I like shiny crap. When you crack it open, inside, you have a vacu-formed tray that securely holds the Mark II and shitbeat Mark III armor pieces on either side. In the middle is a space for a Metalon endoskeleton wearing the Mark V.



When closed, nothing rattles around in the case...really nicely done. The Mk II and III share the same mold, so either suits' armor bits can snap into the cavities on either side, but unfortunately, the Mk V is a different mold, so when you're done playing, you have to put on the new duds to get the case to close properly. Think of it as a little extra time playing dress-up with your toys!




Anyway, the toys are pretty damn cool: the endoskeleton is very flexible and sturdy. To prevent floppiness, Mega used rubber bushings to provide grip in the shoulder joints. Smahht.

Oh, but when you put on the armor, it gets sick. The armor limits some of the articulation, but see, that's actually the secondary gimmick: the magnemo figure wears the armor! That limited articulation becomes part of the fun--it reminds you there's something underneath wearing the suit (uh, even if that "thing" is an inhuman machine that can't be bargained with, can't be reasoned with...doesn't feel pity or remorse...and will not stop ever until you are dead......and, y'know, not Tony or Rhodey).





So just imagine me and Sjoen, wearing black suits, white shirts, and black ties...walking with our respective cases into the US Consulate. Or...the loony bin. Whatever works.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/12/2011 11:17AM by Sanjeev.
Sanjeev Wrote:
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> Nah...fuck that! You're stupid for not owning
> this.

I saw a "drone" version of this stuff at, uh, Ross(?). It's tubbyness is charming in the extreme.


Sanjeev (Admin)
Damnation...did that Hammer Drone actually come out? I haven't seen it anywhere.

Ah, I know--I'll friend him on Facebook...
Poor Megabloks, their stuff always ends up at the discount trifecta (Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls). I wonder if it depresses the designers when the shit they worked so hard on goes straight to the discounters (like above hammerdrone).
glane21 Wrote:
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> Poor Megabloks, their stuff always ends up at the
> discount trifecta (Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls). I
> wonder if it depresses the designers when the shit
> they worked so hard on goes straight to the
> discounters (like above hammerdrone).

Man, toy designers are rolling in so much money they don't even know what a Ross is.

"Like, wasn't that the gay guy from Friends?"
This giant blue dood is a lot of fun for around $25.




You could do a lot worse with your money. Like buying an awful Transformers two-pack with a Hot Rod so shitty it would make you slap a nun. Yowzah.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2011 02:44PM by Gcrush.
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mcfitch (Admin)
I started working at Hasbro today as a contractor. I'm headed to the HQ in Pawtucket, RI tomorrow. I plan on marching right into the CEO's office and demanding that he read this proclamation (thread). Your online bitching shall not go unheard!
-Mason

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Matthewalt "I actually kinda LIKE that approach! You know: let's make a TOY. Remember those? Products designed to be played with without breaking? DO YOU REMEMBER, LOVE?!"
Anyone wanna take bets on how long Mason will actually have that job?!? ;P

--
SilhouetteFormula.Net
mcfitch (Admin)
thomas Wrote:
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> Anyone wanna take bets on how long Mason will
> actually have that job?!? ;P

Am I missing something?
-Mason

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Matthewalt "I actually kinda LIKE that approach! You know: let's make a TOY. Remember those? Products designed to be played with without breaking? DO YOU REMEMBER, LOVE?!"
Thomas' confidence in your ability to hold down a job, apparently.

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[pgaijin.blogspot.com]
mcfitch (Admin)
Oh duh! I thought that was what he meant too but now I'm guessing its because I threatened to bring this thread straight to the CEO. Context is key ;)
-Mason

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Matthewalt "I actually kinda LIKE that approach! You know: let's make a TOY. Remember those? Products designed to be played with without breaking? DO YOU REMEMBER, LOVE?!"
No, no....we all believe you are doomed to fail. ;)

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[pgaijin.blogspot.com]
mcfitch Wrote:
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> thomas Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Anyone wanna take bets on how long Mason will
> > actually have that job?!? ;P
>
> Am I missing something?
> -Mason

"I plan on marching right into the CEO's office and demanding that he read this proclamation (thread). Your online bitching shall not go unheard!"

Seriously though, it might actually work, if Hasbro's catering to the Transformers fandom is anything to go by.

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SilhouetteFormula.Net
To the Hasbro CEO: GCrush does not speak for all of us. I for one don't want a fully sculpted Frost Giant under his loincloth.

As an aside, it would help me like collecting your lines a lot more if I didn't have to wade through dozens of Iron Man variations (doesn't he have his own line of figs anyway) and Arctic Destroes trying to find a new figure.
fujishig Wrote:
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> To the Hasbro CEO: GCrush does not speak for all
> of us. I for one don't want a fully sculpted
> Frost Giant under his loincloth.

He's lying. I don't speak for everyone at TBDX, but we are all in agreement that the Frosty Genitals need fully sculpted giants.

Also, I picked up a Marvel Underverse Iron Man thingy today based on Ben's(?) recommendation. It's a surprisingly good action figure. Not eight bucks good. Fuck that. But good otherwise. The hip and ankle articulation are particularly excellent. I want to see them make a Ghost Rider 2099 this good!
Gcrush Wrote:
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> He's lying. I don't speak for everyone at TBDX,
> but we are all in agreement that the Frosty
> Genitals need fully sculpted giants.
>


If this were an actual action figure instead of a stoopid statue, I would totally buy one and send it your way.

Sending a fellow TBDXer a figure with an avocado in its shorts--would that make us closer than Facebook Friends?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/03/2011 06:26PM by gingaio.
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mcfitch Wrote:
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> I started working at Hasbro today as a contractor.
> I'm headed to the HQ in Pawtucket, RI tomorrow.
> I plan on marching right into the CEO's office and
> demanding that he read this proclamation (thread).
> Your online bitching shall not go unheard!
> -Mason

Hey, seriously, congrats with the 'what you love is your job' kinda thing! I am filled with envy and cherry Jelly Bellies.

wish I could grab big Suit at Hasbro and shout "Stop screwing up the real GI Joe and get back to the basics! Razors and Razorblades thinking still works for Mattel and Barbie, stop with the crap!"

nb. real GI Joe being defined as 11 3/4 inch tall with lifelike hair and beard and Kung Fu grip. With many different uniform sets, accessories and vehicles.

Blah blah blah.
Back in high school, I was really enamored with USAgent, though I never read a single comic book featuring him. It was just that aesthetically, he was Captain America without most of the dorkiness. That said, I picked up a Cap out of respect for Secret Wars-nostalgia.



These figures continue the tradition of movie-line figs being better sculpted and made than the collector's main line (Marvel Universe). USAgent's head/face is one of the best sculpts I've seen in a figure this size in quite some time. You would never see this level of detail on a Marvel Universe fig, though the shitty paint apps are not so rare.



Knowing nothing about USAgent, I don't know if that weird shield, which doesn't actually cover much, is comic-accurate. Anyway, there are pegs that allow them to plug into the backs of the figures, which look totally unconvincing from the front. The Marvel Universe Ultimates Cap with the elastic bands on the shield was much, much better.



Having bulimically purged my Marvel figures, I guess the smartest thing to do was...binge on some again? I know. I've got issues.



Gladiator was a character I loved via his entry in the '85 Marvel Universe sourcebook. He was a Superman knockoff, but he was also a bad guy, which made him cool.



Edited 6 time(s). Last edit at 07/20/2011 03:34PM by gingaio.
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Is that the first time Gladiator has been made into an action figure? As a kid, I always wanted X-men action figures to battle Imperial Guard action figures... maybe with the MU line, that will some day become a reality (mmmm... Warstar action figure...)
I hope Gladiator kicks that Scantron's ass.
mcfitch (Admin)
H,
A lot of Shi'ar figures were mad in the 90s and again in the Marvel Legends line.


Gingy,
Which Cap is that? And no, that shield for US Agent is nowhere near source accurate.
-Mason

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Matthewalt "I actually kinda LIKE that approach! You know: let's make a TOY. Remember those? Products designed to be played with without breaking? DO YOU REMEMBER, LOVE?!"
Actually, that's US Agent's eagle-shield from his time on the Jury, some short-lived super team from the Thunderbolts books. Image from the Marvel wiki:



That was not his regular shield, though. US Agent had a adamantium replica of Cap's vibranium shield.

Introducing Prometheus Rising Studio.
[prometheusrising.net]
I make 3D printed mecha action figures.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 07/20/2011 06:46PM by Prometheum5.
Gcrush Wrote:
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> I hope Gladiator kicks that Scantron's ass.

Well the student's essay certainly kicked mine, and not in a good way.

Mason--it was this Cap: [www.bigbadtoystore.com]

It was the most comic-accurate one on the shelf.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/20/2011 08:53PM by gingaio.
gingaio Wrote:
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> Gcrush Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I hope Gladiator kicks that Scantron's ass.
>
> Well the student's essay certainly kicked mine,
> and not in a good way.

Dood, that's Scantron's mutant power.

BTW, did your Master's of the Universe toys get purged? Or just the x-folk?
Yeah, the MOTUs got the axe, too. Too much other new stuff coming out, stuff that's assembled properly (still bitter about King Hsss). I blame it on TF 3rd party stuff. Anyway, balance needs to be maintained.
gingaio Wrote:
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> Yeah, the MOTUs got the axe, too.

Damn.
Normally, I'd chalk it up to my fickleness, but this time, there is an actual engine driving the superhero/MOTU purges. The explosion...and I mean EXPLOSION of 3rd-party TF stuff has really altered the state of my collection and my want list. It's a pretty exciting time to be a Transfan, but I'm going to stop talking about that now before I give the Reverend a heart attack.
Sanjeev (Admin)
That's aiight, man. We'll both walk the road to hell with these 3rd party TF toys together...well...until I turn back and head for salvation. 'Cause you know I'm on god's "trill-ass motherfucker" list.

Truth be told, I've totally cooled off from MotUC's as well. But then again, I only ever had a few: Zodac/k, Trap Jaw, and a baker's dozen Scareglows...which I'm customizing to go along with my Panthor.

As for superhero toys, Mason hooked me up with the recent MU Galactus. Holy shit on a stick. If you have any interest in the character, you need this toy. I have the older ML build-a-figure and I kinda preferred it simpler look/cleaner lines...but nah. Even if the MU version is more "modern" looking, it's just too fucking dope.

Incidentally, I also picked up the new Mega Bloks Captain America "techbot" on a whim from TRU a couple weeks ago. Shit, it's fucking badass. If you hate the Bionicle look and the fact that it's a terminator version of Cap, then it's an understandable pass. But if you can get by that shit, well, I'm getting more mileage out of it than most TFs I bought at the same time...

More later. Once I figure out this new-fangled camera...
Told you the new Galactus was sick. Gotta pick up the Sentinel at some point now, too.

Introducing Prometheus Rising Studio.
[prometheusrising.net]
I make 3D printed mecha action figures.
mcfitch (Admin)
Personally I'm looking for the SDCC vrsion of the Sentinel in the 1970's and 1980's John Byrne period colors.



-Mason

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Matthewalt "I actually kinda LIKE that approach! You know: let's make a TOY. Remember those? Products designed to be played with without breaking? DO YOU REMEMBER, LOVE?!"
Sanjeev Wrote:
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> As for superhero toys, Mason hooked me up with the
> recent MU Galactus. Holy shit on a stick. If you
> have any interest in the character, you need this
> toy. I have the older ML build-a-figure and I
> kinda preferred it simpler look/cleaner
> lines...but nah. Even if the MU version is more
> "modern" looking, it's just too fucking dope.

I saw pics of the purple one with the clear surfer. It looks badassssss!
Sanjeev (Admin)
Oh, you mean "Gothactus"? Nah, I needs me the OG colors...

As for that OG-colors Sentinel, yeah, that's a must-buy too. But fuck SDCC-exclusive. I'ma wait for them to show up in toy stores in a few months. "Exclusive" my ass.
mcfitch Wrote:
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> Personally I'm looking for the SDCC vrsion of the
> Sentinel in the 1970's and 1980's John Byrne
> period colors.
>
> [insidepulse.com]
> vel-universe-sentinal/sentinel3.jpg
>
> -Mason


The purist in my totally sees why you would want the one that looks like from the X-men comics and cartoon, but the Iron Man extended family lover in my is totally stoked for the blue regular version:



It totally looks like a Sentinel Squad O.N.E. machine from the short-lived miniseries where Jim Rhodes (Warmachine) lead a squad of piloted anti-super-terror sentinels. Granted, that's a pretty obscure choice of colors.

Introducing Prometheus Rising Studio.
[prometheusrising.net]
I make 3D printed mecha action figures.
So, went to TRU looking for Masterpiece Hot Rod and ended up with the Sentinel instead. This guy is fantastic. The thigh-swivel is a little loose, whereas it's fine on my Galactus, but this guy stands up and balances and poses no problem. Kinda want to assemble the whole Sentinel Squad O.N.E.

Introducing Prometheus Rising Studio.
[prometheusrising.net]
I make 3D printed mecha action figures.
Sanjeev (Admin)
I'm still not totally sure how I feel about the shoulders...I prefer the original rounded "organic-looking" ones.
Sanjeev Wrote:
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> I'm still not totally sure how I feel about the
> shoulders...I prefer the original rounded
> "organic-looking" ones.


I like what the pads do to the silhouette, but I'm not super keen on how they have the molded battle damage while nothing else on the figure does.

Introducing Prometheus Rising Studio.
[prometheusrising.net]
I make 3D printed mecha action figures.
So, after messing with the Sentinel some more, I am totally willing to say that it is the superior toy next to Galactus. Big G is great, and a good character to have a giant representation of, but he was never the most dynamic big guy, and feels more like a display character to me. The Sentinel is not encumbered by such preconceptions, or a skirt and giant head, and feels much more fun to handle and pose, especially since it poses so well and is really well balanced. I think the feet must be slightly weighted, because it's genuinely tough to tip him.

One thing that really irks me is the printing on the chest panel. The red/yellow glow printing is slightly grainy and pixelated, and really looks rough compared to the otherwise clean and sharp paint job. I also really wish that, since they went with the glow printing effect, they would have also painted the ends of the wrist guns, instead of leaving them the molded purple color.

Introducing Prometheus Rising Studio.
[prometheusrising.net]
I make 3D printed mecha action figures.
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