I HATE SANDWICHES

Posted by Gcrush 
I hate sandwiches.

And it's not because I've never had a good one. I have. But none of them ever made me want to eat one again. Ever. In fact, even the best of the sandwiches I have eaten serve only to remind me why I don't like them in the first place. It is such an unshakable dislike that I have begun to feel alienated when I see other people eat sandwiches. Or when I hear them talk about eating them. I just cannot see how anyone could ever talk or think about a sandwich as something good.

I just needed to get that off my chest.
Sanjeev (Admin)
Now, does this extended to other, very similar sandwich-like structures? I mean, no one I know refers to a burger as a "sandwich", but do you equally hate a good hamburger?

And if so, beyond that, what about other bread-stuff combinations involving bread as the support structure? Burritos, for instance? Or Indian food where you rip off a piece of naan or paratha and use it to scoop some rice/curry/whatever into your mouth? Mmmm...
Sanjeev Wrote:
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> Now, does this extended to other, very similar
> sandwich-like structures? I mean, no one I know
> refers to a burger as a "sandwich", but do you
> equally hate a good hamburger?

It depends on the structure in question. Hamburgers are out. I can literally remember the last five hamburgers I've eaten. And not because I enjoyed them. Or because they were bad. They were good. Really good. For hamburgers. But I still hated them. In a typical year I'll eat no more than one hamburger at best. And that one hamburger is usually the result of extenuating circumstances such as out-of-town hamburger-eating guests or the like.


> And if so, beyond that, what about other
> bread-stuff combinations involving bread as the
> support structure? Burritos, for instance? Or
> Indian food where you rip off a piece of naan or
> paratha and use it to scoop some
> rice/curry/whatever into your mouth? Mmmm...

I'm down with nearly all ethnic permutations on BREAD + FOOD. As long as they aren't just some regional variation on the classic sandwich program. For example, the only thing more disgusting than a "regular" sandwich to me is the Korean take on a "regular" sandwich. It rots my guts just thinking about it.





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/09/2010 04:43PM by Gcrush.
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As someone newly leading a low-carb lifestyle, I miss sandwiches and don't understand how you can dislike them. You are sick, my friend.

Introducing Prometheus Rising Studio.
[prometheusrising.net]
I make 3D printed mecha action figures.
A good cheesesteak makes me want endless cheesesteaks.

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[pgaijin.blogspot.com]
Sanjeev (Admin)
Now, when you say "cheesesteak", are you referring to the classic Philly-style cheesesteak (where a fluid cheese sauce is applied after the meat is cooked)? Or do you mean a "steak & cheese" (where sliced American cheese is melted into the mostly-cooked meat)?
Philly-style, definitely. We're lucky enough to have a close to authentic place here in Seattle.

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[pgaijin.blogspot.com]
And I thought the relationship thread was taking things "out there"...

now if you combine dating with the cheesesteak...now you're talking!
mcfitch (Admin)
I'm making a B.L.T.S. with you in mind right now Gingao-crush. A Bacon Lettuce Tomato and Spite sandwich.
-Mason

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Matthewalt "I actually kinda LIKE that approach! You know: let's make a TOY. Remember those? Products designed to be played with without breaking? DO YOU REMEMBER, LOVE?!"
Prometheum5 Wrote:
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> As someone newly leading a low-carb lifestyle, I
> miss sandwiches and don't understand how you can
> dislike them. You are sick, my friend.

As someone who enjoys almost all fruits, vegetables, and any manner of creature part harvested from those beasts which either swim, walk, fly, or occasionally do any two out of those three - I don't understand how anyone could miss something so carby as bread. Sammiches always stick to the roof of my mouth, get stuck in my esophagus, make my stomach feel like lead... They're like some kind of nougatty organic glue. Elmer's Wonder Bread.

I also hate white-potatoes almost as bad as bread. I eat french fries or chips less frequently than sandwiches because they're easier to avoid. I can't bring myself to eat the "apple of the earth"-style fare unless they're made from sweet potatoes. Or cassava. Or yuca. Or parsnips. Or any root possessing the magical property known as flavor.

Rice is okay if it's not the plain white variety.

Not such a big fan of the corn, either.

I have always been this way.

Maybe I'm not human.


mcfitch Wrote:
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> I'm making a B.L.T.S. with you in mind right now
> Gingao-crush. A Bacon Lettuce Tomato and Spite
> sandwich.

It would be best served alongside a wedge-of-hate salad, sir.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/09/2010 09:22PM by Gcrush.
What about McGriddles? Is that a sandwich, and how could dislike them?
Gcrush Wrote:
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> Not such a big fan of the corn, either.
>
> I have always been this way.
>
> Maybe I'm not human.


Hey, I had to grapple with an internet corn addiction years ago...you're better off without the stuff...it can ruin your life!
Gcrush, I think you need a Voight-Kampff test.
josh fraser (Moderator)
I like corn.
Scopedog Wrote:
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> Gcrush, I think you need a Voight-Kampff test.


I already failed it.

There are grains and starches that I enjoy. Some rice, quinoa, buckwheat, teff, spelt, kamut... Rye isn't so bad, either.

I just remembered that I don't like most pasta. Because most pasta is just extruded white bread sliced into fancy shapes. Blech.
Gcrush Wrote:
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> Scopedog Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Gcrush, I think you need a Voight-Kampff test.
>
>
> I already failed it.

You're one of the replicants from the Wave article? I'm guessing you're Susan Leal.
Gcrush Wrote:
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> As someone who enjoys almost all fruits,
> vegetables, and any manner of creature part
> harvested from those beasts which either swim,
> walk, fly, or occasionally do any two out of those
> three - I don't understand how anyone could miss
> something so carby as bread. Sammiches always
> stick to the roof of my mouth, get stuck in my
> esophagus, make my stomach feel like lead...
> They're like some kind of nougatty organic glue.
> Elmer's Wonder Bread.
>
> I also hate white-potatoes almost as bad as bread.
> I eat french fries or chips less frequently than
> sandwiches because they're easier to avoid. I
> can't bring myself to eat the "apple of the
> earth"-style fare unless they're made from sweet
> potatoes. Or cassava. Or yuca. Or parsnips. Or
> any root possessing the magical property known as
> flavor.
>
> Rice is okay if it's not the plain white variety.
>
> Not such a big fan of the corn, either.
>
> I have always been this way.
>
> Maybe I'm not human.
>

So you like healthy complex carbs and avoid simple carbs and other crap. What's the problem? If everyone ate this way healthcare might not be so expensive.
No kidding, I was thinking to myself how fortunate you are that you just happen to prefer things that are good for you. Everyone should be so lucky.
Fucking hippies.

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[pgaijin.blogspot.com]
machinesoldier Wrote:
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> What's the problem?

Warrhead Wrote:
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> No kidding, I was thinking to myself how fortunate
> you are that you just happen to prefer things that
> are good for you.


It's not a problem to me, but for me. Because everyone around me considers me "difficult" and "hard to please" when it comes to food. When we're supposed to work together or be part of the group I cannot suggest anywhere to eat because someone will always have a problem with it. The safest and most popular choices are always: Sandwich/Hamburger Place, Pasta Place, or Steak-and-Potato Place. I don't bitch if that's where we need to go, but it's a real disincentive for going. But then if I decline or bring my own lunch I'm an elitist asshole who's, "Too good to eat with everyone." And anyone who happens to be around when I do eat my own food will: 1) inquire and then 2) bitch about whatever I'm eating. "How can you like vegetables? Fish smells nasty. What is that? Never mind. It's gross. Etc."

I don't even look at it as an issue of eating healthy or not. I just like to eat things with strong tastes. Plain meat-and-wheat foods are really, really boring to me. I don't feel like that should be such a big issue. But whenever it's more than just me or my family at a meal it becomes a laborious production of assaulting differences. Why the fuck can't people be cool and just let everyone eat what they like?

I didn't start out hating sandwiches. But this escalating atmosphere of foodism and intolerance has hardened me. I once thought about printing up some t-shirts and bumper stickers that say, "FUCK YOUR WHITE BREAD," but it seemed too open to interpretation. So for now I'm sticking to, "I HATE SANDWICHES."
Have you noticed any regional differences in these attitiudes?
Are East vs. West coasters more pushy about fussing?
After your big move, did this sort of stuff escalate?
Quinoa, oof. I'm good with the rest of that stuff, but not quinoa.

I'm not a fussy eater outside of not eating meat, but I *prefer* "non-American" fare most of the time. Indian is my favorite. I could eat Paneer Makhani every day and never get tired of it. Same for Molai Kofta as well.

I'd still enjoy a nice big greasy grilled swiss and egg sandwich, but I can't eat that more than once a month or so.

More serious than thou
Heh. I can see your "Fuck Your Whitebread" shirts getting some fun responses. I have been wanting to print shirts and stickers that say "America Dammit!" for a while just to see who responds to it and how.

I have had similar experiences with peers and food. When I was in the Navy and out to sea, I got so fed up with shitty galley food, that I decided to see how long I could go without eating there. For well over two months I lived solely off of Clif bars, dried fruit and nuts, instant miso soup, noodle bowls (we stopped at a lot of Asian ports where I would stock up on some really tastey noodle bowls) and canned crab salad sandwiches. I only went to the galley to steal fruits, veggies and the occaisional loaf of bread. When everyone else would go to eat and I didn't join them, people would sometimes ask me "too good for the galley?" to which I would respond "we all are."

When you go against the grain, some people will always think you are being pretentious. The irony is that you are accused of being a fussy eater when in actuality the people you describe sound to me like they have the palettes of fussy five years olds.
Warrhead Wrote:
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>The irony
> is that you are accused of being a fussy eater
> when in actuality the people you describe sound to
> me like they have the palettes of fussy five years
> olds.

THAT is definitely the case most of the time. There's no fussier eater than the person who only wants vanilla ice cream when there's all those flavors out there...

More serious than thou
Sanjeev (Admin)
"too good for <fast food, pop music, two-party system>?" to which I would respond "we all are."

;)
Gcrush Wrote:
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> to which I would respond "we all are."


It's always curious to me the type of person who is full-stopped by someone not fitting into one of their boxes. They are literally frozen - can't move on with their lives at that moment - until they see you conform somehow.

Especially with food, where an adult should have complete dominion over what goes into their body, it's quite strange.

Then of course there are folks who insist on constraining the habits of those around them with their gluttony of delicacy ("it has to be a certain special way for me, so no one else's preference counts").
So you like healthy complex carbs and avoid simple carbs and other crap. What's the problem? If everyone ate this way healthcare might not be so expensive

I disagree with this healthcare argument completely . Healthcare is expensive because of the cancer of greed. Tylenol costs between $10-$15 for a bottle at the store. In the emergency room one tylenol pill costs you $400-$800. A procedure that would cost your insurance $3000, would cost someone without insurance $25,000. It is clear greed has fucked up healthcare just like it has fucked up the rest of the world.

As far as vegetables and fish, the pesticides and mercury in your food are as dangerous as eating too much fast food. I don't see these people who eat "healthy" as elitist, but as people who choose a different poison that leads to the same unavoidable result, death.

Sorry just venting.
I am regularly told that I am a food snob and a pain in the ass.

I can't stand cooked fish. Any fish with scales that is then prepared with heat in any way makes my skin crawl. Shellfish and cartillaginous fish are the exceptions. All fish prepared raw are favorites of mine.

Any cheap meats, hot dogs head cheese or bologna give me headaches before I even finish eating them, so I don't.

Un-pickled cucumbers make me feel physically ill at the slightest taste. Salads must have them prepared on the side, because even the slightest hint of cucumber slime will do this to me. And yet EVERY FUCKING TIME I mention this it seems like someone tries to reason "but they don't really taste like anything" blech..

I generally avoid processed crap or cheap candy that doesn't have peanuts.

Everything else is cool.

I love sandwiches. I love white bread and white rice. I love all that bland starchy crap and sometimes crave it. My dietary vice. I was told that my blood type is supposed to avoid it, but it's hard to, considering that it's everywhere. Maybe your blood type or something else makes you averse to the white starchy goodness.
Warrhead Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am regularly told that I am a food snob and a
> pain in the ass.
>
> I can't stand cooked fish. Any fish with scales
> that is then prepared with heat in any way makes
> my skin crawl. Shellfish and cartillaginous fish
> are the exceptions. All fish prepared raw are
> favorites of mine.
>
> Any cheap meats, hot dogs head cheese or bologna
> give me headaches before I even finish eating
> them, so I don't.
>
> Un-pickled cucumbers make me feel physically ill
> at the slightest taste. Salads must have them
> prepared on the side, because even the slightest
> hint of cucumber slime will do this to me. And
> yet EVERY FUCKING TIME I mention this it seems
> like someone tries to reason "but they don't
> really taste like anything" blech..
>
> I generally avoid processed crap or cheap candy
> that doesn't have peanuts.
>
> Everything else is cool.
>
> I love sandwiches. I love white bread and white
> rice. I love all that bland starchy crap and
> sometimes crave it. My dietary vice. I was told
> that my blood type is supposed to avoid it, but
> it's hard to, considering that it's everywhere.
> Maybe your blood type or something else makes you
> averse to the white starchy goodness.

You're a food snob and a pain in the ass.

More serious than thou
repairtechjon Wrote:
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> Have you noticed any regional differences in these
> attitiudes?

Not particularly. My closest circle of friends tends to be pretty easy with food, but those are people with whom I choose to associate. It's the people that I must be around that are the fussy-mouth folks. Which is what led me to post about this topic in the first place. Last week I paid $8 for a sandwich at "The Best Sammich Place in Town" because a handful of people can't go without their white bread. For $8 I literally got a sandwich. No drink, no side, nothing else. And it was something I could have prepared at home. In fact, for about $10 I could have purchased enough ingredients to eat the same sandwich every day for five days. And the people around me couldn't stop talking about how good the sandwiches were. I didn't say anything even though these same folks once poo-poo'd my suggestion to eat at Lebanese place right next door to their sandwich join. The whole time I was choking down that miserable meal I couldn't stop thinking how these people are absolutely retarded about food. It's like they're intent on disempowering their relationship to the things they eat.

Having said that, it's not just an American thing. Many of the other countries where I've lived were just as bad about insisting on eating only the most familiar foods. Which, incidentally, frequently tended to be blatantly unhealthy. It's like the two are guaranteed to go together.


Warrhead Wrote:
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> Heh. I can see your "Fuck Your Whitebread" shirts
> getting some fun responses.

The internet has ruined us in that sense.


leMel42 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's always curious to me the type of person who
> is full-stopped by someone not fitting into one of
> their boxes. They are literally frozen - can't
> move on with their lives at that moment - until
> they see you conform somehow.

Like Sanjeev pointed out, people are like that with all kinds of things besides food - politics, religion, language, sex... But again, it is the same everywhere. People just can't be cool.
I just remembered another great sandwich story.

Several years ago one of my close friends went with a group of colleagues to Cypress to conduct an excavation. One of the women in the crew literally packed an entire suitcase with jars of peanut butter and jelly. And she constantly complained that everyone else on the project was losing weight while she was gaining it. My friend explained, "No one else is eating sandwiches three times a day." Of course, that did nothing to dissuade her aversion to the local food.
Giantbluerobot Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> I disagree with this healthcare argument
> completely . Healthcare is expensive because of
> the cancer of greed. Tylenol costs between $10-$15
> for a bottle at the store. In the emergency room
> one tylenol pill costs you $400-$800. A procedure
> that would cost your insurance $3000, would cost
> someone without insurance $25,000. It is clear
> greed has fucked up healthcare just like it has
> fucked up the rest of the world.
>
> As far as vegetables and fish, the pesticides and
> mercury in your food are as dangerous as eating
> too much fast food. I don't see these people who
> eat "healthy" as elitist, but as people who choose
> a different poison that leads to the same
> unavoidable result, death.
>
> Sorry just venting.


It's cool. I tend to be short sighted when I vent, as well. Happens to the best of us.
i do like sanswiches !
I only have my very own definition of what a sandwich should be...







fujikuro Wrote:
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> You're a food snob and a pain in the ass.


SEE?!?!
Sanjeev (Admin)
G, do you like pizza or any reasonable permutation thereof (like, wholewheat-dough pizza or anything like that)?
Sanjeev Wrote:
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> G, do you like pizza?

I used to make homemade pizza - everything from scratch. Dough was usually wholewheat, spelt, or kamut. It wasn't a regular event, but I wasn't averse to it either.

Then I worked at a pizza shop for a year and the experience utterly cured any urges I had to eat those dirty food-wheels ever again. As a side note, we also served chicken wings and I've damn near given those up for good, too.

Almost completely unrelated, I frequently delivered wings to Curly Neal. That guy would call up and say, "Hey, is Harvey [the store owner] there? Tell him it's Curly! Tell him to send me what I want. Order of wings - double boned." Interestingly, Harvey claimed to have never actually taken an order from Curly. Anyway, we used to fight over who would take that delivery because Curly had a reputation for making drivers hang out while he watched ESPN until a commercial break would come on and then paying them with exact change (or as close to exact change as possible). One night when I lost the draw and had to take a delivery to his house Curly's wife answered the door. I thought for sure I might get a tip. No dice. She passed me a check for the exact amount. Another time I impishly slipped an extra single-boned wing into Curly's order while another driver was responsible for delivering it. Curly called up later and bitched at the manager on duty for screwing up his order. Guess who had to deliver a complementary order of replacement wings?

For the record, Curly wasn't the worst customer we had. Nor did he turn me off to chicken wings. I simply learned to hate them because they are nasty, nasty, nasty.
Sanjeev (Admin)
Damn...the Curly from the Globetrotters.

Sucks.

Still...I love wings. About as much as I love sandwiches (well...burgers).
Pancakes?
My brother in law ran a pizza shop/chicken wing joint. Working there a few years turned him off completely to that stuff for a few years after. He came back to 'za, though. You always come back to 'za.

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[pgaijin.blogspot.com]
Warrhead Wrote:
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> Pancakes?


Buckwheat. Fruit. No syrup.
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