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September 20, 2003

Song of the SOB

Filed under: Toy News — Rumble Crew @ 12:54 am

How long it is I’ve suffered
(And whined and bitched and rent
What’s left of my poor patchy hair)
And typed my fingers bent
Dispatches to the Mother Land
To Jersey and Hong Kong
Wherein I’ve sung my sickly
Never ending greedy song:

“Find for me these bits of barf
These mini malformed mutts
These teensy tiny reproducted
Elusive vinyl runts
Find them for me and dear friends
Upon my thanks you’ll sup
Not to mention your relief
When fin’ly I shut up”

Then from old HK came lo
The news I’d longed to hear
A chance to get the latest ones
But oh the price was dear
I gulped and wondered at the chance
Hesitating now with doubt
But how the world seemed well again
When I drained my bank account

When I see olive packages
My heart leaps from my chest
From far they travel to my home
And inside treasures rest
Today a green bound box arrived
And I’m filled with nerdy joy
Two sets of brand new SOB
Sets four and five -Oh Boy!

I will not write about a set
That’s seen here once before
Especially when the best kaiju
Make most my audience snore
But series five if I’m not wrong
Has not been seen here yet
So let me introduce to you
this latest wacky set:

Antlar Redking Miculas
(redeco’d don’t you know)
And let’s not forget third Kanegon
With his nifty glow
Ultra Jack and 7 are new
(not that you give a darn)
Lastly goofy Takkong
And sewage-like Zazarn

And there you have it Gundam fans
Poor verse for your delight
And pictures of some crap that proves
Ol’ Corey’s just not right
And if I might address the folks
Who’ve made these hard to find:
Thanks a lot there Bandai
Kiss my ripe behind

 

How long it is I’ve suffered
(And whined and bitched and rent
What’s left of my poor patchy hair)
And typed my fingers bent
Dispatches to the Mother Land
To Jersey and Hong Kong
Wherein I’ve sung my sickly
Never ending greedy song:

“Find for me these bits of barf
These mini malformed mutts
These teensy tiny reproducted
Elusive vinyl runts
Find them for me and dear friends
Upon my thanks you’ll sup
Not to mention your relief
When fin’ly I shut up”

Then from old HK came lo
The news I’d longed to hear
A chance to get the latest ones
But oh the price was dear
I gulped and wondered at the chance
Hesitating now with doubt
But how the world seemed well again
When I drained my bank account

When I see olive packages
My heart leaps from my chest
From far they travel to my home
And inside treasures rest
Today a green bound box arrived
And I’m filled with nerdy joy
Two sets of brand new SOB
Sets four and five -Oh Boy!

I will not write about a set
That’s seen here once before
Especially when the best kaiju
Make most my audience snore
But series five if I’m not wrong
Has not been seen here yet
So let me introduce to you
this latest wacky set:

Antlar Redking Miculas
(redeco’d don’t you know)
And let’s not forget third Kanegon
With his nifty glow
Ultra Jack and 7 are new
(not that you give a darn)
Lastly goofy Takkong
And sewage-like Zazarn

And there you have it Gundam fans
Poor verse for your delight
And pictures of some crap that proves
Ol’ Corey’s just not right
And if I might address the folks
Who’ve made these hard to find:
Thanks a lot there Bandai
Kiss my ripe behind

              cae 9-19-03

cae
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