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October 6, 2003

Big Fight! Transformers vs. Galvion!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Rumble Crew @ 2:30 pm

Transformers suck. Don’t believe me? Watch as I do a comparison review between a Galvion toy and a Beast Machine.


Pedigree


Beast Machine Burnout is from an overhyped, overwatched 30-minute toy commercial. He’s a transforming racecar with (get this) a personality, feelings, and everything. Goofy, huh? Hasbro made jillions of these and sold them everywhere. He was purchased at a Target store for $7.49 plus tax.


Circus One is from the anime classic Road Chaser Galvion. Like Burnout, he’s a robot, but here’s the catch: he, uh, I mean, it, is a machine that’s piloted by a human. What a well thought out science fiction concept, huh? Galvion was so incredibly popular in Japan that they never dared release toys there. Why? They feared a repeat of what happened during the Gundam model craze, with Japanese children trampling each other in department stores for a chance to get their hands on the merchandise. Instead, they were sold in America as Super Defender Convertors. Circus One, the main character’s mecha, was renamed Indy. It was purchased through eBay for $15 plus shipping.


Winner: Circus One


Vehicle Mode (picture)


Burnout is a futuristic racecar. He has two pipe missiles that launch with finger-popping action. He rolls. If you flip him over, you can see his soul. It’s located under the front wheels, unlike his pal Muddober, whose soul is in his ass.


Circus One is a futuristic racecar. It rolls. The mecha’s rifle doesn’t have a place to clip on, so it just lies there, which I think is a pretty neat feature.


Winner: Circus One


Transformation


Burnout’s transformation is fairly complex for such a small toy, with numerous swivels, pegs, and hinges coming into play. Everything locks together firmly, and once you’re done, the robot mode stands tall and proud.


Circus One’s transformation is a somewhat harrowing experience. There’s an especially cringe-inducing part when you rotate the fists around and the two halves of the arm almost separate completely. Afterwards, you will find some blue dust on your hands. It’s the scraped off plastic from the lower legs grinding against the main body. Eventually you get to the point where you assume it’s finally in robot mode. Once transformation is complete, it may list to one side a little bit.


Winner: Circus One


Robot Mode (picture)


Burnout’s head, surprisingly, looks a little bit like the line art for Circus One’s head. A translucent eyepiece lights up when it catches the sun just so. He has articulation at the neck, shoulders, elbows, waist, hips, knees, and ankles. He can take an action pose, or a more relaxed one.


Circus One, as I noted, lists to one side a little bit. Its head looks nothing like the line art for Circus One’s head.


Winner: Circus One


So there you have it. The overall winner, by a large margin, is Circus One. I’ll buy twenty of those awesome Galvion toys before you catch me buying any cruddy Transformers. Except for the Transmetal Depth Charge that I won on eBay last month. And that Tripredacus I bought off of Ken. That’s it. Maybe the Tankor/Obsidian 2-pack if I see it at Wal-Mart. But nothing else. I mean it.


(If anyone sees that grey Fox Kids repaint of Transmetal Tarantulas for sale, could you please let me know? Thanks.)

Roger

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