According to the Center for Disease Control, the first sign of zinc poisoning is usually intestinal distress, followed by a metallic taste in the mouth. I couldn’t agree more. These zinc-alloy Gundam figurines — I hesitate to call them toys — are appalling playthings even by my disturbingly low standards. Yet I felt compelled to force my sister to win them off of ebay for me nonetheless. (Yes, I have sunk this low: I cancelled my ebay account, only to beg bids off of family members. Just shoot me now.)
Released by Clover, the little toy company that tried but never quite “got it” when it came to things Gundam, these all-metal figures represent a pinnacle of sorts, though I can’t tell if it’s a high or a low one. Hell, they even ran out of paint halfway through the run!
I desperately want to say something witty here to salvage some pride and wrap this up, but I’ve got to run and gargle to get this metallic taste out of my mouth.